One of the strongest emotions I remember feelings when I first moved to Malaysia was shame and embarrassment. There was just so much I did not know. So much I’d never seen. And I was embarrassed that if people found out I didn’t know, they’d think of me as being backward and primitive.

When I opened my first bank account — which was my first bank account ever — the cashier gave me the ATM card and told me to go to the machine and activate it.

I’d never used an ATM machine in my life. I could’ve asked the cashier — or really anyone — but I didn’t want to be found out. So I called my dad long-distance — this was before Whatsapp — and had him walk me through it.

Over the years, that feeling has come up again, especially when I’m in a new country by myself where I don’t speak the language. But it’s less daunting these days before I have Google — and now Perplexity — and can ask the dumb questions without being found out.

But last night — my first time in Warsaw — I walked into a Polish milk bar I didn’t google, and asked the woman at the counter to recommend something because I don’t know.

“Do you want something with meat or vegetarian?”

“Meat”

“Beef or pork?”

“Beef”

She recommended something. I bought it. It was good.

It was a very short and simple interaction, but it was exhilarating for me. Being seen is a trip.