Some years ago, I found myself at the LessWrong Community Weekend here in Berlin, and that’s where I came across the concept of Crocker’s Rule for the first time.
“By declaring commitment to Crocker’s rules, one authorizes other debaters to optimize their messages for information, even when this entails that emotional feelings will be disregarded. This means that you have accepted full responsibility for the operation of your own mind, so that if you’re offended, it’s your own fault.”
It’s about efficiency. Not wasting time.
I’m reminded of this because I came across a profile on Hinge where the person wrote — and I’m paraphrasing here — If a date is not going well, let’s end it and not drag it out of politeness. There’s some Crocker-ness to it, if only the aim for efficiency.
In theory, this is something that makes sense to me. Why stay in a bad date when there are tens of other fun things you could be doing.
But then a couple of years ago in KL, I was on such a date and — maybe half an hour into it — she got up and said “I don’t really think we’re connecting, so I’m gonna go.”
It wasn’t because of anything I said. She wasn’t creeped out or uncomfortable. I know this because the next thing she said was, “I drove. Where are you going after this? I could drop you somewhere”.
It was about not wasting time. Efficiency. Crocker-ness*. And it didn’t feel good.
On a recent episode of 99% Invisible, Roman Mars was saying how optimisation in advertising is the main reason why everything went to shit. The inefficiency is the thing that makes things work. Inefficiency means more people working together. Inefficiency means longer time spent together. It means more human contact.
We are human because we are inefficient, and the run towards more and more optimisation is slowly suffocating our humanity.
*I know that Crocker’s rule is about YOU being open to people giving you information in the most efficient way without worrying about offending you, and not you giving people information without worrying about offending them. But they’re connected in my brain.