It’s been a little over two weeks now since I got back on Hinge, and in that time, I’ve had exactly zero matches. Zero likes. Nothing whatsoever.

I was telling this to my friend Jo, and she suggested that I try this “hack” she read about.

“Try deleting your account,” she said, “and when it asks you why, say it’s because you’re not getting matches.”

The idea is that to incentivize me to stay, Hinge will “refresh my algorithm” and start giving me a “better” stack.

Since then, I’ve looked up what other Hinge hacks are there. Someone suggested going to the Standouts section and X-ing everyone there. The idea being that, given that those profiles are supposed to be some of the best, you’re telling the algorithm that that’s still not good enough.

Another person suggested changing your ethnicity to “White/Caucasian” especially if you’re not white/caucasian. I don’t know what the logic of that is, except that maybe the racism exists and people that are white or have white in them are presumed to be shown to more people?

There is of course no evidence that any of these “hacks” is genuine. But the one thing that is undeniably true is that the very fact that people are searching for hacks is proof that the apps are not working as they should. And when people are frustrated and confused and don’t know how to navigate a situation they’re in, they often turn to superstition.

It just so happens that I am quite often very superstitious.